Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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