My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
