i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
