Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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