Please, let me fuck your mom
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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