We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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