She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
