Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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