yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
