What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
