I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
