absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
