So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
