I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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