I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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