I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
