also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him