she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes