I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Buhtt sex?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
