I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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