I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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