What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize