oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
