They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
