New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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