we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There's always time for handjobs
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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