what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
