he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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