Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
