This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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