I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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