Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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