we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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