I accidentally had phone sex last night
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Mom said you looked used
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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