Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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