Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
