please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
