I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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