Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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