the condom got lost in my hair
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize