That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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