I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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