i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
