i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
