i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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