You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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