Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
