I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
