Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
