I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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