Soap is not a condiment
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
