Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
is it fun? or sober?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
