one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
