I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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