Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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