Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
