Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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