I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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