he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
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I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
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I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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