Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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