Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
