You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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