No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
