i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...