If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.